I used to try to memorize your voice so that I may recreate it in my twilight before sleep, where you were mine and no one elses. You were the epitome of perfection that has yet to be attained by any other. I memorized your face, as it was the most beautiful sight I've ever had the pleasure of seeing. I wished for so long that I could be a part of your life, and it killed me horribly that it was an impossibility. But I dreamed for so many years. I looked forward to resting my head on the pillow, for I knew as soon as that happened, this world would disappear for a short while, and I molded this entirely fictional existence that no one else knew about. There were some days that I'd look forward all day to bed time, just to escape and for once have control of the goings on in my life, if even it were just imaginary. Somewhere along the timeline of my life, I lost the ability and innocense to find happiness in these daydreams before sleep. I knew that whatever I was concocting in my head was not the truth, and never will be, thus draining all of the comfort and love I had for doing such things. I miss that ability. It was such an appreciated escape, and one of the few things I felt I had control of when I was a child/teenager.
Daydreams before bed
7:33 a.m.//07.16.05
Mood: Pfhshs
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