Uncertainty often eats away at my stomach lining. The pressure in my chest is ungodly. I know why I'm feeling like this. Fear. The fear of things possibly changing into something that threatens to throw my emotions to the wolves. I'm indecisive. I'm cold. I'm distant even when I'm right next to you. This is not about one person in particular, or maybe it is and I'm just not completely aware of it yet. Words -- created by man -- a series of speech sounds created through vibrations that project a thought or meaning. These rather simple sounds we exchange with each other can make life so beautiful or so menacing. Many people's words have turned me into something I never wanted to become. I consider myself similar to a slave. We both are aware of the life that we want to be leading, and the yearning to express ourselves the way we dream to. We have this ideal in our heads of the way things should be, but there is a higher authority that has tried to beat these emotions to a bloody pulp. Scared to speak. Now the words are lost. Push it all back down, deep inside. Frustration. Chances lost. Loves forever parted.
Frustration and butterflies
2:53 p.m.//02.18.05
Mood: Uncertain, and somewhat distressed
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