Running low on energy. Been sleeping even more poorly than usual this past week. A lot of bullshit is brewing around in my head. I went to bed last night with a task that had to be completed today--a drug test. My 2nd one in a week or so. My first test came up diluted due to this flushing/cleansing agent that I had unmerrily drank to cover up my drug-infested urine. I guess they didn't buy it. "Take another one," they said. So I came up with a scheme. A great scheme. A plan! Indeed. First things first--I start pounding the phones, calling around in pursuit for some drug-free urine, which is really a major task considering all of my friends and people I know are very fond of weed and consume it daily. After a little while, I get in contact with my friend, Reem, who has the cleanest urine on the face of this planet. She agrees to hook me up with some pee. I start making preparations in my head. My idea is ingenius: I'd scrounge up $1.69 for an Optimo blunt--the kind that come in the plastic, tampon applicator-looking tube. I'd then take the tube, clean it out with soap, water and some rubbing alcohol, and save the blunt for later (yum). I'd have Reem urinate and pour the urine into the blunt tube and seal it with the little cap it comes with. Since the tube is shaped like a tampon, I figure it's easily insertable. I'd go take the test, pull the tube out of my box, pour it in the specimen cup, re-insert the now empty tube, and walk away with a clean drug test. Flawless idea. Today comes. I wake up a little early to go and get the blunt and rushed home to clean it out properly, as I figured that a sprinkling of tobacco in your testing urine would be quite gay. I walk into 7-11 with apparently 20 cents less than I needed. I had to drive back home, find some change on the floor in my room, drive BACK to 7-11, buy the blunt, come BACK home to clean it out and get all my belongings needed to go get some urine from Reem. I get to Reem's job, and her break is being hindered by some client. Anger is now occuring, as it's almost 2pm, and Quest Diagnostics (the urinalysis place) closes at 3pm. I start nearly having a panic attack and punching whatever got in my way on the dashboard of my car. Finally, she comes out. I tell her to ingore my yelling voice mails and to just please give me the piss so I can go and take my test. She does. Everything is going fine and dandy and sort of according to plan. The drive from Reem's job to Quest Diagnostics is approximately 5 minutes up the street. I get there with plenty of time to spare. I find the building, park my car, make sure everything is in order and make my way to the building. As I'm walking towards the front door of Quest, I feel... wetness and drips. "Oh, please. Please please don't let it be what I think it is..." says my inner monologue. I look down, and the crotch-area of my pants are saturated. I scurry back to my car, furious, angry and completely disgusted. I was covered in urine--not even MY urine--SOMEONE ELSE'S urine. The cap had come off of the tube somehow and now I'm just absolutely covered in piss. "Great. Fucking great. I can't take the test. I have no time and no money to get another blunt tube. I'm not going to get this job and now I have to drive home with piss-pants saturated with foreign urine," I said outloud. I hate everything at the moment. I hate how I have to take a drug test. I hate how a plant just can't be legal. I hate the whole getting a job process. I hate urine. I hate tubes. I fucking hate everything. Fuck.
Urine bath
4:05 p.m.//08.02.05
Mood: Depressed/Infuriated
[previous]������[forward]