At night, right before I fall asleep, is when the ideas I come up with; the ideas of hopefullness and serenity all seem feasible and like a great idea. And then I wake up. Apparently, daylight kills any inkling of hope for me. I wake up and realize my thoughts that I had the night before are preposterous and complete horse shit. The next time I get those ideas, I fall for the same thing -- the nested feeling of hope and positivity, only to be thwarted by the rising sun. And now, I'm just numb to these pre-R.E.M. thoughts because I already have them pegged to the image of me waking up in the morning and feeling stupid for being so positive the previous night. I am my own speed bump.
The sun kills hope
3:29 a.m.//01.31.05
Mood: Nostalgic
Sound: Modest Mouse -- The Good Times Are Killing Me
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