Time is a really weird concept for me because there's no way around it; you just get older all the time. When I look back at the past, especially when I was a kid, I feel almost like a prisoner because that period is just closed off for all eternity. I can never go back there ever again and it's just a time that's locked and blocked off. What's even more crazy to me is home videos of that period of time. People that are dead are now almost alive again and I look at myself and think, "You have NO clue what you're in for." There's so much up ahead to be happy and completely suicidal about, and back then, I had no idea of suicidal tendancies and was more concentrated on playing with Playskool kitchen sets. I don't think I could watch home movies without having a breakdown of exponential proportions. But then again, it doesn't take much for me to get to that point lately anyway. Thanksgiving is in a couple of days, and like always, no one tells me what's going on at all. I was invited to Pete's and I'd really would like to go, but I'm not sure of what hidden obligations I have elsewhere. I can't even go to 2 places because I have no bastard car. In terrific news, I just cleaned the bathroom, how lovely is that? Terrific beyond all known terrificness. I think I've babbled on enough. I'm contemplating working out, but am feeling much too lazy. I should just get it over with and I'll feel better about myself somehow. I'm such a fux0ring heiffer lately, I need to get back into routine or else I'm doooooomed.
Home movies
4:33 p.m.//11.23.04
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