JUDICIOUS, BEAUTIFUL, AUGMENTED WHATEVER


Angry Ape
8:40 p.m.//01.21.07

Mood: hopeless

Another day from the inside of this container. It's a glorified cage. Depression has been tailing me for days, looking to feed under my skin. Or perhaps it's already happened--maybe this is the incubation I'm going through. But I can sense it, and I think it's going to be a bad one.

It's only a matter of time. All it will take is a slight resemblance of your past in the face of a stranger, and I'll spiral out. Everything in this life has something I mentally attach to it. It's a costly endeavor, because it takes on a life of its own after a while, but such is the price of trying to obsessively preserve the past.

I think I'm miserable but I can't be sure at the moment, because I'm self-medicating. And with each refresh, I feel even more rotten. I am rotten and I feel my soul starting to spoil.

Later I can do the deed so I can feel pacified and then empty.


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