Mood: Cleptic, you know, the adjective of clepto. It's funny. I spent a signifigant amount of time wondering. I was wondering about how you'd react to major heartache. It was interesting to me; to think about the kind of state it'd leave you in, and how sick it'd make you. You've never experienced such things as these--you were a virgin in having your heart torn out. This interests me, because I know your first major heartbreak changes you forever, and to see this before and after change right in front of my own eyes, on another person, and me, knowing the long-term effects of such things--to witness this first hand is extraordinary. It's extraordinary because you get to see everything clearly; everything you went through, but from another angle. You get to see it through an emotionally detached, logical, pragmatic pair of eyes. And you get to contrast that to how emotion often clouds logic in more shocking and devastating ways than we can care to think about. But what's funny, is that I never considered myself an applicable candidate for such things, when all of the sudden, I find myself playing the role of the infathomable heartbreaker. And it feels good. I can't hide it or pretend I don't feel this way. I'm glad it was me. Reason unknown. But who needs reason to ruin the party of how I'm feeling this very moment. It doesn't seem that time moves so slow, and you're standing on the corner when your friends disappear on a bus passing by that speeds them like a second wind. Well I forgot to get high. Didn't know who to know. Didn't know where to go.
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2:51 a.m.//06.18.06
Sound: Cave In -- Brain Candle
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