Long distance train rides are very odd things. And one thing while I was away that really hit me hard, well, two things actually, is that people in the mid-west are uber friendly, and that I really hate girls... even more. Everyone from Wisconsin is hot. Every last one of them. The girls are models and the guys are GQ material. I strongly dislike that considering the fact that I am nowhere near hot, or even attractive-looking. It was refreshing to be away from home and see sights I'd previously had never seen. I'd just like to take the time and say the following: CUBS_FANS==DULL We've all heard so much about how Cubs fans are hardcore and badass, but this is simply not true. Pete, Paul, Amanda and myself had bleecher seats, and not a single person, other than us, were paying any attention to the game. When Prior got that line drive right into his elbow, no one even cared for the exception of us, and we're not even that hardcore of cubby fans! We are, however, Prior fans, and it figures that he was put on the DL at the very same game we went to. During the entire time at Wrigley, inane conversation could be heard in every general direction. Who's sleeping with who, vacation plans and other bullshit that should not be talked about while at a baseball game, especially a HOME baseball game, and seats in the bleechers. It was a disgusting display of fandom. Chicago fans are shit compared to NY fans, even METS fans have more to say, and that's an insult right there. Chicago was interesting, and I really, really enjoyed it. I love the layout of the city, especially the Loop train, how it's travels along the median between traffic on the highway. I was sitting in the backseat as we pulled away from Union Station in downtown Chicago. All I kept thinking about was the Smashing Pumpkins and Billy Corgan. This is their town, and me, being as corny as I am, felt closer to them, having seen their stomping grounds. About 20 minutes into the drive on the way to Wisconsin, I saw a sign in the Chicago suburbs for Joliet, which is where Jimmy Chamberlain is from. This put such excitement in me, that I felt almost happy, as if it were the coolest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. And it probably was one of the coolest things I had ever seen in my life. I stared as far as I could into the West Suburbs exit of Joliet, thinking that Billy and Jimmy had been in this exact spot, looking at these exact things as I'm seeing right now. It was almost a religious experience for me, and I couldn't wait until we were coming back to Chicago so that I may see the Joliet road sign again. It sounds so corny, but I care not. That small experience had crumbled the walls of depression that I was imprisoned in for so long, even if only temporarily. And it was temporary, as it usually is. Most of the trip, I was in lockstep with severe depression and self-hate, with rare times of child-like happiness that were soon smashed as I had been pummeled with the reminder that my life is in shambles. I was also quite surprised that Pete and I didn't get on each other's nerves whatsoever. It was a good sign, and gave me some mild relief in the fear that I can't stand anyone for any extended period of time. Paul's apartment was really spacious and I felt very much at home there. We spent a great deal of time watching movies, TV shows (Mr. Show & News Radio), baseball, playing video games and staring at No Signal on Paul's awesome TV, that I wished I could have brought home with me. Wisconsin looks so similar to So-Cal, so I fell in love with the terrain almost immediately, as the first thing I noticed were the concrete curbs, which everyone thought I was retarded for mentioning. But that's ok because I do plenty of things that make people think I'm retarded.
Chicago / Wisconsin
2:47 p.m.//05.31.05
Mood: Energetic
Dressed in: A towel
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