I've done run out of medication. I always tell myself that I'll never allow myself to run out, but I always end up running out.
out_of.meds="true"
9:36 p.m.//10.03.04
I believe this is day 4 with no pills. I feel the effects already: increased irritability, depression, dread, bouts of silence -- the usual. Actually, I'm consistantly feeling those feelings even on medication; but it does tone the shittiness down a little.
Today is Sunday. Sunday means football... all day long from 1pm - 12am. I'm really not a football fan but Pete is, so 79 billion hours of football is like heaven to him, but by the time game 3 rolls around, I feel like my head is about to explode. I'm just glad that he has something else to look forward to besides me ^_-
On the flipside, I feel like running a lawn mower over myself, back and forth many times. And I'd lie there, resembling spaghetti and meatballs, feeling irrationally alone and inadaquate.
That's the silly part about all this; everything I'm feeling at these times are so completely opposite of the truth and I know that logically, but am still unable to reverse my mood. Fucking chemicals. Why can't they just work for instead of against me. I wish I just had one vital piece of myself that wasn't in need of major repair. Fucking ridiculous.
[previous]������[forward]